I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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