I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
