WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
