i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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