Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
