Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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