Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
