WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
