She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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