Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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