I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.