There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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