the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.