So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
