yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN