Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
