stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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