i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
