Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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