Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
