Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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