I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
is it fun? or sober?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
