I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
