do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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