spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
