Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Randomize
