Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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