is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
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