I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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