I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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