her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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