I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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