Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
