Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
