I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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