If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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