I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
