your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i was born a porn star she said
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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