It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
