I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
we're so committed to being not committed
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize