We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
