a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
