She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
