he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
