oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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