i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
