apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize