Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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