I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
