I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
We talked him into tasing himself.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Im part way to drunk.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
