May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
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Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
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We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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