I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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