I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
