OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You're like the curious george of whores
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
