i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i love accidental penises.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
