We named our party play list daddy issues
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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