i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Your cock deserves a montage
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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