you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
