so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
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Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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