Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
