making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
