It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
