A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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