Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
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He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
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