There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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