I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
